#dontcarewhatyouthinkofmechallenge

So I have TWO possible jobs this weeks to make up for my fourth of july week break (ya girl loves her BBQ's and fireworks).

Being a teenager is pretty rough these days. I don't even need to give any examples of why because you can imagine the laundry list that is fifty miles long. But I think a pretty common stress of being young is the issue of acne. Coming from someone with a family history of acne prone skin, I can attest that the struggle is in fact real.

Hundreds and hundreds of dollars on dermatology visits with doctors that don't even care. Medication that doesn't ever seem to work (or be covered by your insurance). Makeup that costs an arm and a leg because drug store coverups only make it worse.

WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?!

I'm so sick of feeling insecure and feeling like I need to pile on layers and layers of concealer to leave my house.

And now we have this stupid trend called the #dontjudgemechallenge where teens are literally drawing acne and other insecurities on their faces to pretend like they're "unattractive". The challenge is supposed to be people embracing their true, bare faces and not caring what others think. The whole trend is making so many (including myself) feel worse about the way they look.

The first job I could accomplish is helping to create makeup and skin care products that don't cost the same as my tuition. Demi Lovato just teamed up with scientists to create a line of skin care products. Demi struggled with her skin and is now helping others with the same issues. I think that creating products to help someone is wonderful and having a major in communications could help push it.

I love working with makeup and shopping for makeup (and blowing money on makeup....actually I don't really love blowing money on makeup). I sometimes find it difficult to find products that will cover my acne without making it worse and is affordable for a broke college student. Creating a line of skin care and makeup products with these issues in mind could seriously impact many lives.

The next job I could have is working to create campaigns that support my generation and younger to feel more confident and beautiful because although we feel insecure and embarrassed about some things, we are all truly beautiful inside and out. Working to create an organization that stands up and defends those who are in need of a mirror to really show how beautiful they are.

So because of all this (and this probably will flop) my challenge to match the #dontjudgemechallenge is the #dontcarewhatyouthinkofmechallenge. Because at the end of the day, we need to accept who we are and not care what anyone thinks of us. Because you're worth it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBHQbu5rbdQ
(it was necessary, and you love it don't lie).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAfyFTzZDMM
(I'm lame and cliche and unoriginal I know).

You're Next American Idol Is......

Okay so Ryan Seacrest won't be saying my name after those words ever, but I used to dream he would ALL THE TIME. I remember telling my mom "when I'm sixteen I'm auditioning for American Idol and Simon is going to love me". She would just laugh. I'm pretty sure she is still laughing at me.

When I was younger I used to sing every chance I had. I was in choir in fourth and fifth grade and always snagged a solo. When I got to middle school I obviously joined choir. We were to do a Christmas show. I wanted to be Mrs. Claus and sing "Santa Baby". I prepared all weekend for the audition. I even created choreography for it.

Monday was the boys audition, Tuesday was the girls.

Tuesday rolls around and I'm up bright and early. Mom drops me off with a goodbye kiss and a "break a leg".

"Why are you here Samantha?"
"I'm here to audition for Mrs. Claus."
"Girl auditions were yesterday, I had to change the schedule."

THANKS FOR TELLING ME.

Mom fought that with my choir teacher so hard after I told her, I thought she was going to cry.
So I didn't get Santa's wife. AND I quit choir for good, (because let's be honest who wants to deal with a now embarrassing situation of your choir teacher almost bursting into tears).

Choir career over. Disney career starting.

For anyone born in the 90's, I'm sure you remember those wonderful "Disney Mania" CD's. I had the third album on repeat for weeks after I got it from the Easter bunny. There was one song in particular I kept singing: "Strangers Like Me" from Tarzan covered by Everlife (I forgot they even existed).

Well one day, I'm singing it in my room. Mom hears me and walks in.

"Was that you singing?"
"Yes sorry was I too loud?"
"Sing it again."

"OH MY GOD YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOOD".

K mom thanks for telling me AFTER I QUIT CHOIR FOREVER.

I still regret not continuing choir because I feel I would've improved (and maybe actually have been good enough to at least make it through the first audition of Idol??)

I can still sing pretty decently (when I put A LOT of effort into it) and my love of music hasn't been lost.

Now that all those terrible childhood stories are over with I can get to the REAL purpose of this post.

The music industry would be pretty awesome to work in. Obviously I wouldn't be behind the mic, but I could definitely be behind the scenes making something happen.

Maybe I could be the next Scooter Braun and help manage talent. Or the next Kenny Ortega and create tours for artists.

(this will then lead me to a bunch of free concerts).

I've got it all figured out. (lOl no I don't)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbI1PyhnObg

Kris Jenner Is My Queen

Okay now before you judge me, hear me out.

I don't agree with some of the things she's done (exploiting her children for distasteful occurrences), but the woman is a genius.

Let's take a look at the facts:

She handles all of the finances of her family (and is filthy rich). She is a smart business woman, produces all of the family's reality television shows, HAS HER OWN TELEVISION SHOWS, is a fashion icon, raised 6 children, helped manage their careers, as well as built an empire and a brand.

Kris Jenner is everything I strive to be. What do I want to be when I grow up? Her.

I honestly think that Kris Jenner is a pretty great role model. Yes, some of the moves she's made are questionable, but look at all she's accomplished. Everyone makes a few mistakes and we always learn from them and I think that she's learned right from wrong over her years in the spotlight.

I want to be a mom. I want to be walking red carpets, traveling the world, giving interviews, producing shows, starring in shows, sharing my views and opinions, building a brand that represents something important. I want my own empire.

People call Kris a "momager" and I think that's a pretty challenging job, but it's also a job that I think fits me perfectly. I want to be a mother but I also want a career. I don't want to be a house wife, that isn't me at all.

I want to be the next Jenner/Kardashian queen (with far less children).

I just don't know how to get there on my own (because I refuse to rely on a man to financially support me).

I think my communications major is perfect for this type of career. Now I just need to figure out how to make "momager" an actual career for me...

So... You Basically Don't Have A Major

So the other day my mom ran into an old "friend" (more like bitch) and she asked how I was doing (like you actually care, your'e only speaking to my mom to find out if your kids are doing better than hers). My mom knew what games she was playing and wasn't taking any of her crap, so she just said that I was blossoming at my institution and doing very well with my major. To this she responded, "Oh what's her major? Hopefully something practical!" Upon hearing the words "communications major spur out of my mom's mouth, she laughed and said "So, she basically has nothing."

Yeah, that's it. I'm not majoring in anything. I'm spending thousands of dollars on N O T H I N G. How stupid could you be?! Communications is one of the biggest and broadest majors there is. Sure, I'm not going to be anything common (and boring in my opinion) like a doctor or lawyer or secretary, but there are so many options I can work in (I think?).

This woman also asked my mom what I wanted to be when I grow up and my mom responded "she's figuring it out, she's got time."

BUT I FEEL LIKE I AM RUNNING OUT OF TIME OH MY GLOB I CAN'T EVEN THINK OF ONE RELEVANT JOB FOR ME TO PURSUE I HAD TO START A BLOG TO FIGURE IT OUT.

I honestly didn't even want to major in communications, I wanted to major in theatre. i wanted to work on the stage and off. I love acting and portraying other characters and getting out of my own skin for a bit, but I'm not strong enough to have a career in just that. Working behind the curtain is fun but again, it isn't a career unless you're the best and working for a top notch broadway show. So I entered the com life and here I am today, unsure of what the hell to do.

I just need SOMETHING, a little push, a stepping stone, (five million dollars), you know just something. 

Hopefully that something will come soon.


(they used to be my life, 3 concerts later I still have tour merch #noshame)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sz7brQHUJxk

HELP I NEED BREAKFAST!!! (and a future career; not sure which is more important)

When you ask most people my age "hey what do you want to do with your life?" they'll give you a two hour speech about how they're majoring in blah blah blah and they want to be a blah blah when they grow up. A good percentage of them know exactly where they want to be professionally in 5, 10, even 20 years from now. I have friends playing tours or selling their art or creating award winning films.

And then there's me who can't even figure out what she wants for breakfast today (seriously cereal? half a toasted bagel with crunchy PB? fridge oats? THE POSSIBILITIES ARE EXHAUSTING).

Here's what I DO know:

•  in 10 years I'll almost be 29 (hopefully I'll be married and starting a family; first I need to find a man that will look at me for more than the sole purpose of telling me I have something stuck in my teeth). 

• I'll still be short

That's it, that's all I got.

Currently I'm majoring in communications at the wonderful University of Tampa and am HEADS OVER HEELS in love with my core curriculum (legit don't mind waking up for an 8 a.m. if it's for a core class.) My issue with this is that I can't tell if I enjoy them because I'm actually interested and genuinely good at what I'm accomplishing OR if they're just easy. 

What happens if they're just easy? Am I wasting my time doing nothing to prepare me for a future career? The stress of figuring this all out is double my size. I'm just trying to understand and experiment with my talents and see where I can go. 

This summer, and the next few years of college will be my blog and I, attempting to create a path to the right place for me (hopefully that path will be lined with pizza and donuts and lots and lots of money).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWP6Qki8mWc
(one of my few, unhelpful talents: speaking in song lyrics)